I'm a Hater

I have been trying really hard in the last while to step out of my comfort zone.  You see I am a bigger hater of things.  I don't really enjoy anything normal people like.  For example thongs (the shoe or the underwear doesn't matter hate them both.), board games, any card game but poker, tobogganing, anything outside in the winter for that matter.  I have a perfectly warm house why would I leave it.  Most school events,  things that waste my time, people touching me, me touching people, bare feet, sand...and the list goes on. 

Anyways my comfort zone is really really small.  But I am okay with that for the most part.  Except lately I have noticed it's getting smaller yet.  And that has actually started to worry me.  This is tied in to my anxiety I'm sure and my fear is that I may get to the point when I never leave my house. 

So I am really trying to do things that put my outside of my comfort zone to see how I do.  One thing I tried was getting my nails done.  I know it wouldn't seem that scary to normal people but it seemed like a lot of touching for me.  One of my friends does nails.  I have known her for about 6 years.  I trusted her with my nails.  Now I like it.  I have had them done once since then too and I think it's neat. 

My sister got married and I was a bridesmaid which almost pushed me over the edge in many ways, but all good for me I guess.  I got my make up done for the first time and didn't mind that either.  In fact I may go back and get some help on picking colors for me and some application tips as well. 

I am a long way from being able to wear thongs to the beach without dry heaving at the feel of the sand on my feet but I think the nail salon was a good place to begin. 

Then I tried twitter.  Also something I thought I would hate but enjoy.  More than Facebook but don't tell Bono and Mark Zuckerburg.  My name is @DHysuick just in case you don't want to miss anything that happens in my crazy/boring life. 

I don't know what I will try next but I will keep you posted. 

PS If you see someone next to you at the beach this year gagging while sitting in the sand...it may be me.  Offer some kind words of support, pat me on the back, hold my hair, you know, show me you are proud of me for stepping out of my comfort zone. 

Wood Ticks Sask Style

I spent the weekend working and then working at home.  I cut wood until my arms shook which only takes about half an hour as the chainsaw gets heavy.  So don't think it was some big accomplishment. 
(As with anything I write, I hope sarcasm shows through clearly)  I love living on an acreage but it is an insane amount of work.  My husband is still cutting grass with a ride on lawnmower and its almost dark out.  He started about 2 this afternoon.  It takes about 9 hours to cut all the grass here.  Granted we did get a little behind. 

My rant today however is wood ticks.  Gross ticks.  I would take a picture of one but they really disgust me.   And as soon as I see one I flush it long before I would think to take a picture of one.  If you have never seen one, just imagine a grape filled with blood.  And that blood is yours or your dogs usually.  They start out flat and small, about the size of the end of a pen.  They dig in with something on their heads and start sucking your blood.  After a few days on a dog they look like a grape.  People usually find them long before they get that big but still gross.  They start out black and end up grayish and disgusting.  When the dogs have ticks I can't even touch the dogs. 

And because I was cutting wood I had a tick on me.  Not dug in yet but crawling up my neck.  And my husband had one at supper and dropped his pants at the table for a tick check.  Because once you find one then your skin crawls for hours with imaginary ticks.  So disgusting.  I am assuming they exist because the birds eat them or something but besides that I can't think of anything else they might contribute to the world.  I can't think of one time anyone would say "I'm not feeling very well, must be all that excess blood in me.  Bring in the ticks." 

I have a feeling if ticks were described on the immigration papers all of the politicians problems would go away.  Who in their right mind would want to come to a place with ticks?

Just my take on the world.  Enjoy your evening. 

Good night.
Sleep tight.
Don't let the ticks bite.

So...slow down you say

I know I have read a bunch of stuff on slowing down my life.  Take a deep breath enjoy the moments.  The guy on Oprah who's watch has no hands because the only time is NOW.  I know they're right but how on God's green earth do you actually make that happen.

I am pondering this while sitting at my desk eating my lunch from A1 Pizza in Indian Head.  (Which is very yummy by the way.)   Not that I am complaining I am just stating a fact.  I have noticed that the people talking the most about taking it easy are millionaires.  I could take it easy to if the teenagers that looked at me like I'm an ATM didn't require so much cash. 

I think it would be much easier to enjoy the moment if the next moment didn't involve paying a power bill with creative accounting or taking bottles back to buy groceries.  Now I exaggerate but sometimes it feels like that.  And I know there are people out there that do live like that.  Life isn't always about enjoying every moment either.  Some days just suck.  There is no other word for it.  They just suck. 

It is really hard to be grateful and enjoy the moment when the moment involves your teenage daughter telling you that you have ruined her life.  (Which is pretty much the plan because when they are that age they don't need a life.) 

So I guess the answer is to be grateful for the sub and the donuts my co worker bought to celebrate the long weekend.  I can afford a sub and I love the job I pour myself into.  As for taking a deep breath and slowing down maybe I remember to do that tomorrow. 

R and R

I started blogging a little while ago.  I started to promote a charity I am part of.  However, I truly enjoyed writing.  I limit myself though by trying to stay on the topic of Forever Friends. 

This blog is all mine.  The views are mine alone.  No work, no charity work, just my ranting and raving.  Luckily I have a lot of opinions.  I do not intend to offend, although sometimes it happens inadvertently.  And if I do offend, I apoligize.  In advance. 

For starters-Seriously Kate Moss.  So you make a new lipstick and advertise it by walking barefoot towards a helicopter.  Who would ever do that in a million years?  I don't know a lot about make up but I am pretty sure there is no connection. 

My sister got married this weekend and I wish her all the best in the world.  It is very weird to think of her as married.  Even though she is twenty eight it still seems odd to my ear.  I enjoyed the wedding.  I am not a big partier so things like that usually are too much for me.  But I did okay. 

I suffer from anxiety.  It seems to be getting worse as I get older but I am trying really hard not to succumb to the pull of my anxiety.  I have to force myself to do things that are not in my home.  I am  good at my job.  I have a lot of contact with people all day everyday.  I'm not scared of people.  I work hard and I feel really comfortable when I am working.  However, anything that I do socially is very difficult for me.  Odd I know.  Maybe I can work through some of this stuff here. 

So this is my first and rather random set of thoughts.  My next one will be more structured, I promise. 

Thanks to anyone who might read this. 
Danah