Wednesday, 5 March 2014

Physical And Emotional Sickness

One of the things that I have noticed with being sick is how much time is devoted to simply being sick. I spend hours on the couch or in bed. Which really is the only thing that is comfortable now. Being in bed. I have a specific way of placing my pillows, propping up my leopard print pillow, putting my legs at an exactly appropriate angle. My remotes must be within an easy reach. My heater control on my bed side, my Young Living diffuser running, TV on to some sort of mindless drivel, my laptop or hubbies ipad on my lap and me in my comfy PJ’s. The end.
My new favorite thing-My Young Living diffuser
This is how everyday starts and finishes in my house. Yeah me! (Insert sarcasm here) Don’t you think my husband won the jackpot. I’m sure having a woman that wanted to spend all their time in bed was high on the list of qualities he wanted in a woman. I just don’t think this was quite what he was looking for.
I was a huge pusher. Nothing was ever perfect enough. Nothing was ever done enough. I wasn’t smart enough or good enough.
And here is the kicker. I have been doing even less than nothing for about six months now. And I am still here. I have however, had to find other things about me that are literally worthy. I had no idea how wrapped up my work, home, parenting had in my self worth.
What They Are Thinking I Have
There have been a lot of physical symptoms but the mental has been no hell either. It was something I was not expecting. I know that I have talked about this before in my blog but that’s because it is a really big deal that I am still getting my head around. I thought I would be back to work by now and everything would be hunky dory by now. But it’s still not happening.
I had a neurologist appointment on Friday. They gave me an anti-epileptic medication that has been shown to help a condition
Called PKD not the kidney PKD the other one. I had to get him to write it down. Who can remember that. In 14 days I will know if itp works or not. Maybe even sooner. If it doesn’t work, then my dr has agreed to help me go south because this is the last idea he had. This is the first time I have been treated for anything in a year. How crazy is that. So here’s hopin’!