Solving Life's Problems

I heard a lot of hubbub over the last major holiday we had, you know, Halloween.  Stores were filled with decorations, kids have to have store bought everything and the days of being a punk rocker or a hobo are long gone.  There was not a paper bag robot to be seen.  Naughty sailor outfits and vampires lined the shelves.  Gluten free and peanut free snacks were in every home.  Our culture says Merry Christmas with controversy but can dress up like a naughty police officer and celebrate a pagan holiday with no problems.  And the hottest question debated was "When is a child to old to trick-er treat?"  Seriously?

I have no desire to enter a debate about things.  I grew up in a time of homemade costumes and trick-er treating from farm to farm because that was our community.  We were not allowed to go in town.  We were allowed to go out trick-er treating until we were 12.  And our parents let us take a bar of soap and write our names on windows of homes if the people were not home.  This is because we knew our neighbours.  And a prank was harmless and funny for all involved. 

Here is my view of Halloween.  We have made it a shopping holiday like all the rest.  Extravagant decorations, perfect costumes and not a homemade treat in sight.  I live in a small town.  I do not believe that the average person that is on the library board with me is going to put a razor blade in my kids treats.  I know, I know, in the city we can't trust anyone. Razor blades and horror stories unite!  Maybe we should make it a practice to know our neighbours so we don't put our children at risk.  Maybe just maybe, if we met our neighbours we could let our children out to play street hockey again. 

But alas, I digress.  I was going to solve life's problems.  Here is how you know if your kid is too old to trick-er treat.  When they are smokers.  If your child takes a pack of smokes with them when they leave the house, costume or not, they are too old to trick-er treat.  Period.  I watched a pack of older teens come down the street trick-er treating in the local businesses and one of the girls could not go into our towns bakery because she had a smoke hanging out of her mouth. TOO OLD. PERIOD!  And I knew I had solved the only apparent problem of Halloween.  

The end.

Vegetarian Meals, I think not!

So I thought that I should update everyone on my update free zone.  The doctors have run pretty much every test that a neurologist and rheumatologist can come up with.  I still have a few more to go and then after that, a second opinion I guess. 

The latest happening in my fun wander through the system is that I have exceeded my drug allowance for my year.  And my pain pills are apparently $141 dollars now.  We live on a budget.  That took up the dog food, entertainment, and half the grocery money.  So if you see one of us on the street please do something entertaining so we have something to talk about and then slip us a can of dog food. 

One of the things I started doing even when I was working was planning our meals.  I found it so much easier to come home and know what I was making and have all the ingredients I needed.  Occasionally I get too lazy to do it and then spend a week hunting for ingredients.  And then I remember how easy it is to plan and I begin again. 

We get our meat from the farm.  We are lucky to get this.  Sometimes we run out of meat before the next beef is ready.  When this happens we eat more chicken and fish.  This time I planned for a vegetarian meal.  Apparently I broke some sort of meat lover’s law.  It was called Popeye Pasta in one of the Company’s Coming cookbooks.  Angel hair pasta, roma tomatoes, feta cheese and spinach, yummy stuff.  My son looked at the meal and said “No meat!  Is this even food?”  My daughter said “You know what would make this awesome, chicken and bacon!”  To which my husband responded “ Sounds like some people need jobs!”

He sounds all supportive this time, but a few years ago I ate vegetarian burgers some times and I enjoyed them.  So I brought home some tofu dogs, and veggie burgers for supper.  I didn’t tell anyone but just put everything on the table and everyone started eating.  The kids were eating the hot dogs not saying a word.  My husband says “What’s wrong with these hotdogs?”  I replied, “Nothing” coupled with a “look “, which apparently he missed because he took another bite and said “Seriously are these old or something, they taste weird.  Should we keep eating them?”  I replied with a nastier “look” “I tried a different brand.”  Response, “I don’t know about these.  What do you think kids?  Are these okay”

Stopping half way through eating the kids said, “Yeah these do taste weird.”  And they stopped eating.  So I had to admit to the tofu dogs mostly to get my husband to stop talking.  The kids could not be talked into another bite.  And my dream of healthy eating went up in barbque smoke. 

 I wish everyone a happy Halloween!  Have a great day!!

PS We really don’t need dog food but the entertainment can’t hurt!

The rest of my story

By Sunday, I was so sick I could hardly stand.  On Monday I got a visit from my rheumatologist.  Again no diagnoses.  However at this point after a consult they decided to decide on a prescription.  I was taking one of my migraine pills every 12 hours.  At least at that point they worked. But I was still very, very sick.  They gave me gravol before and after they gave me my Celebrex.  At that point I decided that my nausea and stomach trouble was being caused by the Celebrex. 

At first I didn't know for sure.  I thought the spinal tap could have caused some of the troubles.  But I decided to not take the Celebrex and see what happened.  If I got better, Celebrex, if I didn't, spinal tap.  I'm no doctor but for me, that made sense.  Luckily the other doctor stopped in and I told him that I would not take it anymore.  As the hours passed from my last one, I got stronger. 

On Tuesday, they sent me home.  Significantly sicker than the week before when I went in. 

It took me two weeks to recover.  And if left to the doctor's I still wouldn't be a good as I am.  I had to double my dose of medication they gave me just to get my migraines under control.  I was supposed to have an appointment on the 23rd, but the specialist's receptionist called to tell me that my appointment would be a "waste of time" so I was obviously on my own.  Desperate times for desperate measures.  (This is not a practice I am recommending DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME)

And again here I sit.  Because I am continuing to get worse I am not once again unsure of how to proceed.  I am going to be contacting Patient Services today in order to find out what I should do next. 

This has been a very humbling experience.  I have learned something.  I was watching a taped Oprah's Lifeclass.  She had Dr. Brene Brown on the show discussing vulnerability.  It was an amazing experience.  I would recommend anyone watching it.  I made my husband.  And he didn't hate it.  It was basically about opening yourself up to the people in your life that will love you because of your shortfalls not in spite of them.  One of the things they talked about was people that help others, without being willing to ask for help themselves.  I was actually waving my hand in the air. 

Why is it that I have no problem being the person that does all I can for others, but now that I need help, I feel horrible to ask for it.  You know why, because I think/thought that people would think less of me if I asked for help.  Think I wasn't tough, like I was looking for sympathy.  And watching that I realized that I am screwed up. 

Dr. Brene Brown said that if we give help but won't ask for it, that means when we are giving help we are giving it with judgment.  And because we are judging others while helping them we are then not wanting people to judge us when they help us.  So we ourselves don't ask for help.  How messed up is that.  And it's true.  Not in a bad way, I have never felt like I judged people I helped.  But I realized that on at least some level, I thought it was true.  That people would judge me if I asked. 

I thought about that a lot.  Then I watched it again.  Then I started to let that go.  I have asked my friends for books.  I have let my Aunt bring veggies and pie to my house for supper.  I did not clean when my friend stopped by for a visit.  And I did not die.  I decided that if I can only sit/stand for an hour, I would rather spend the whole hour with her, not half cleaning, half visiting.  And I'm pretty sure she will come back. 

If you get a chance, you can also watch Dr. Brene Brown on YouTube in a "TED" talk.  20 min, she's very funny and its worth the time.  Especially if you are a person opposed to letting people into your life for fear of rejection or judgment.  And even more so if you think you aren't, like me. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o

Let me know what you think.  Thanks for your time.  It is precious and a gift I truly appreciate.